I'm so horrible at keeping up with my journal, guess I'm just busy living life...

1.  I'm still in Big Brothers/Big Sisters and having lots of fun with my little sis.  She's cute, and adorable.  We're going to the holiday party next weekend, and then making Christmas cookies the week after that.  We'll see what interesting colors of frosting we come up with this year.

2.  I'm single for the moment.  Kind of hanging out with someone I tried dating last year.  Didn't work out at the time (we were on 2 different levels).  He's trying this time, so we'll see what happens.  I'm just letting things go...not putting a lot of energy or expectations into things.  Don't want to set the bar too high, and the poor guy can't even see it.

3.  I did join the Basic Needs and Self Sufficiency Council for the United Way.  I guess I'm also involved with the funding process.  So next week we'll start reviewing applications and make the decision in February how the funds from this funding cycle will be distributed.  I'm learning so much.

4.  My house is warmer this year.  I did some insulating and caulking in the basement, seems to have really made a difference, even my brother and mother noticed the floor was warmer.  Hopefully I can save some on my heating bill this winter and still be cozy without 3 layers of blankets on me.

5.  I got a second cat back in July.  His name was Sweetie...and he was sweet.  Unfortunately, he threw a blood clot one night that paralyzed his tail and hind legs.  I had to put him to sleep...that was the most heart wrenching thing I have had to do in a long time.  I balled the whole time.  Thank goodness I could call my mother anytime (2:30am) and talk to her about it.  However, I got another cat again.  Belle is her name.  She's super sweet as well.  Her and Miel take turns chasing each other around the house.  Sounds like 2 kids running around.

6.  It looks like I'm going to become a yoga instructor at the local YWCA.  They are in desperate need, and they seem to really want me.  I've never taught before, so I'm doing my research this weekend.  Rented some DVDs and borrowed some books from the library.  I'll try and come up with a few sequences for class and practice them.  Wish me luck.

I have got to run, I have a "friend" coming over tonight.  Potential for some serious cuddling.

Peace & Love,
Theresa

It has been a very long time since I have journaled. So much has happened in my life, good and bad. But the bad isn't really bad, more of a learning experience.

We'll start with the fact that I was dating someone but he broke it off with me. I enjoyed being with Brent so much, but he is such a downer. His life isn't where he would want it, so he's letting things bring him down vibrationally. I knew he was draining me, but I still miss him. We had fun together, laughing, joking, teasing. He even went to Minneapolis with me for a mini-vacation. I took him to all my favorite restaurants and he loved them all.

I just think he needs to get things straight in his head, and the "pressure" of a girlfriend was getting to him. Funny, I wasn't the pressure, everyone in his life was, asking to meet me, wondering when he was going to move in, etc. I hope he works through things. I gave him a book the other day called You Can Heal Yourself. I hope he uses it.  He told me that he would read it.  I was angry with him after we broke up, but I'm better now.  I miss him.  I told him that I need him in my life, one way or another.  Either as a friend, lover, companion, or anything.  He just needs to be part of my life.  He was happy to hear that.  I hope we do go camping this year.  He wants to, so I think it will happen.

Also, I saw my intuitive, Michelle.  I LOVE her to death.  She is so good at what she does.  My angels, yes, I have many angels surrounding me and protecting me, were telling her I had a journey to go through.  I've really been working on my speech.  Trying not to gossip, only say nice things, in arguments be civil.  It has really been a challenge for me.  She said that she saw the color blue (throat chakra) and that's what I need to focus on.  I'm still going on this spiritual journey right now.  Trying to figure out where I belong.  My vibrations are much higher than those around me, so people are drawn to me, and at the same time they drain me.  That's what Brent was doing.  But, I guess I knew that and didn't mind.  He needed the energy more than I did.  So I've been trying to journal my emotions more, and I've been saying a prayer every morning...

Beloved I am Presence bright
Round me seal your tube of light...

I've also started taking qigong.  I took it years ago with a qigong master from China.  I'm having a hard time with this instructor.  She's making the whole experience too American.  "Hold this position for 1 minute, then transition and do the fluid movement 3 times."  That's not what it's all about, so it's difficult for me to hold my breath and not say anything to her about that.  She didn't even know why you put your tongue on the roof of your mouth when you practice (it's to connect the yin and yang energies of your body).  So I'll continue, but realize she is no master like Master Chun Li Yin.  *sigh*

I have also joined Big Brother/Big Sisters.  I have the best little sister ever.  She's Mexican and I'm learning so much about her culture, and she is learning about mine as well.  She is turning 15 this year, which means Quincinera.  It's fun to learn about the celebration, the symbology and meaning behind it all.  I did tell her I would buy her necklace and earrings for her special day.  I think it will be fun.  She told me I am most definitely invited.

I'm also thinking of joining a Basic Needs Council for the Brown County United Way.  We assess different programs and make sure the basic needs of the community are being met, shelter, food, literacy, etc.  I think it would be a great way of helping the community and a way of getting my foot in the door for other volunteering opportunities.  I talked to my boss, Lynn, today to see if that would be considered community relations and I could get paid leave for it.  Even if it isn't, I still want to be involved.

Everything has its own food, and music is the food of the spirit.

-Nasrabadi in 'Attar, "Tadhkirat"

Peace and love!!!

 

Barbra Streisand - It Must Have Been The Mistletoe

It must have been the mistletoe
The lazy fire, the falling snow
The magic in the frosty air
That feeling everywhere

It must have been the pretty lights
That glistened in the silent night
It may be just the stars so bright
That shined above you

Our first Christmas
More than we'd be dreaming of
Ah, Saint Nicholas had his fingers crossed
That we would fall in love!

It could have been the holiday,
The midnight ride upon sleigh
The countryside all dressed in white
The crazy snowball fight!

It could have been the steeplebell
That wrapped us up within its spell
It only took one kiss to know
It must have been the mistletoe!

Our first Christmas more than we'd be dreaming of
Ah, St. Nicholas must have know that kiss
Would lead to all of this!!

It must have been the mistletoe
The lazy fire, the falling snow
The magic in the frosty air
That made me love you!
On Christmas eve our wish came true
That I would fall in love with you
It only took one kiss to know
It must have been the mistletoe!
It must have been the mistletoe!
It must have been the mistletoe!

I had the best time yesterday. Let me preface it by saying I joined Big Brother/Big Sisters again. I was matched with Little when I lived in Minneapolis. We stopped seeing each other by her choice. So, I was a little soured by it all. I finally decided to get back into it. I got matched to a 14 year old girl. She's the sweetest, smartest and kindest girl I have ever met. She has got a good hear on her shoulders I tell you.

Well, yesterday we spent the afternoon making Christmas cookies. She's Mexican and has never done that before. We had so much fun!!! I taught her how to roll out the dough, to use the flour on the roll pin, and how to cut them out. Then we got to frost and decorate them. We only broke a few (I call them eaters). We put some of the cookies into a tin, she's going to give them to her mother for Christmas.

I'm so glad I got back into this. I needed to start volunteering again. I guess my reward this time was a not-so-difficult child. I told her, if i win the lottery I'll take her to Paris so we can practice her French. I think that would be the best trip!!!! I better go check my numbers.....*sigh*

Peace & Love,
Theresa

How many total songs?

6678 songs, equal to 18.8 days or 31.49 GB

Sort by song title - first and last?

* First: "'75 aka Stay With You" - Lemon Jelly
* Last: “Zombie” - The Cranberries

Sort by time - shortest and longest?

* Shortest: “Bonus Track” (0:03) - Ani DiFranco
* Longest: “9027 KM” (34:46) - O.K. Go

Sort by Album - first and last?

* First: “'64 - '95” - Lemon Jelly
* Last: “Zodiac Zoo” - Made in Mexico

Sort by Artist - first and last?

* First: ...Nous Non Plus
* Last: Zombie Nation

Top five played songs?

1. “Empty Room” - Marjorie Fair - 30 Plays
2. “Go Your Own Way” - Fleetwood Mac - 29 Plays
3. “Silver Lining” - Amanda Ghost - 23 Plays
4. “True Colors" - Cyndi Lauper - 22 Plays
5. “Hold Tight London” - The Chemical Brothers - 20 Plays

It has been a while since I have written anything, so here it goes.

I'm still living in Green Bay and doing putzy stuff to my house. I recently did a little plumbing and electrical work (not at once). I just love that I am willing to try these things on my own. I did have a little problem finding the water shut off for the house, so I called my dad and he drove over to help me. I think he appreciates it that I still need him on occasion. Plus he got a beer out of it. I replaced a light fixture in my house. I was hoping I would be able to fix it and not have to throw away something, but I just couldn't get it to work no matter what I did. However, I did put it out the the curb with a few other things from my house and people took it. Makes me feel better knowing someone can use it, or fix it.

I've also been online trying to meet men, not boys. I've been talking to a few good ones lately. Feast or famine I tell you!!! Well they're all pretty decent guys, know what they want and are honest. One is recently divorced, one is single and in school, and the other is single and a professional. He's never been married and no kids. Let me tell you, that is a treasure in my age category. Everyone seems to have some sort of baggage now a days. Not that kids are a bad thing, but it would be nice to not have to deal with that...and I would already be coming in at second place. I deserve 1st thank you very much.

I was so excited to hand out candy on Halloween. I figured I would get a ton of kids with living in the city. I had a bunch, but I definitely over-bought candy. So, I started giving it out in handfuls. Did I mention, one of the boys was over handing it out with me. I know, I broke my rules of meeting in public the first time...but my gut is never wrong. I felt good about him. So we sat on the couch and read Laffy Taffy jokes and tried to figure them out. By the way, I'm pretty good at that game and I impressed him. I might as well just say his name is Jamie. So at 6, when my candy was gone, we walked over to Marty's for dinner. He is so much fun. We laughed and teased each other. I like to tease and joke around, but most people don't. I usually have to say 'I'm joking' or something dumb like that. With him I didn't have to. We had a great dinner then walked back to my place and just sat and talked. He did end up staying the night, but I behaved. He didn't. *LOL* It was fun, we both enjoyed each other's company.

So, then the aftermath of waiting for him to call me. He messaged me the next day. We've talked every night since. I have a good feeling about this. Now I need to keep the doubt away and get the good to manifest. No negativity. We might be getting together tomorrow to do something. I'm not even particular. I would help him rake leaves, and I know it would be fun. So wish me lots of luck.

The crap at work has subsided...we'll see for how long before someone tries to sabotage me again. Thank God my boss is smart enough to know I wouldn't do or say those things. I just want to walk up to the culprits and slug their sorry asses. I mean, why can't you just honestly work your way up the ladder instead of sabotaging people, and stepping on people on the way up. I have a feeling it will get worse as there is some competition to get on the helpline. I have been told I'm the forerunner for it, even though I'm the newest employee there.

I had a meeting this morning I was not looking forward to, but it ended up being quite enjoyable. Our new VP wanted to hold some meetings with a random group of people. He just wanted to get to know us better. I thought that was pretty cool of him. My leader did the same thing, but one on one when she started. We all laughed so hard in the meeting. He was impressed that I liked power tools and owned 2 drills. *LOL* He said that was a tell-tale sign of a real power tool person. I can't wait to see what I get for Christmas this year.

So my mood has been much better lately, and not because of the boy situation. I was so damn depressed for most of July, August and September. I didn't know what to do with myself. I want to be out and about enjoying life, but I sat at home all the time crying for no reason. Probably because of the work bullshit and not having a lot of friends here yet. However, I have become friends with one of my neighbors. She asked me to watch her little girl for a few hours last weekend. I took that as a compliment that she trusted me. We had fun emptying the money out of her piggy bank and putting it back in for over an hour. I did teach her something fun though. "Who's your favorite neighbor?" And she responds "EESA!!!" P.S. That's me.

So that's about it for now. I hope to stay in a better mood and let go of the negativity. I also wish peace and love to all my friends. Life is rough right now...the universe is not making things easy. It's going to get better.

I had such a horrible day today, so bad that I threw up I was so upset. Then I come home to this in my inbox. I'm on my 6th time of watching it. It has helped...

I did steal this from someone, but it must be shared.

Theology: that madness gone systematic which tries to crowd God's fullness into a formula and a system!

- Rabbi Joel Blau,



Because we all share this planet earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature. This is not just a dream, but a necessity.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

It has been a long time since I have posted to here. I've been busy. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. I've been doing house stuff. I'm too much of a perfectionist. I want to thoroughly scrub every surface in every room before I get it completely in order. I don't think that's a bad thing, it's just taking a me a while. Plus the fact that people don't seem to know how to paint without getting it all over the floor or missing spots, etc. But my floors are looking fabulous I tell you!!!

I get distracted. I start one project, get bored and then onto something else. I have gotten quite a few things done. Friday, Mom and I hauled 6 cubic yards of dirt. I had some drainage issues that are all fixed. I still have a pile of dirt sitting in my driveway I'm not sure what to do with. I might have to start a garden. What should I grow?

I was going to put together a file cabinet I purchased, but one of the pieces is damaged. Do I put it together anyway and see if you can see the damaged part or wait for their customer service to get back to me? I'm anxious. I want to put something together. Maybe I can focus on the hutch instead. Yeah, that's it. I love putting stuff together, and taking it apart. Did I mention I put a shelf together and hung it in my bathroom? I also fixed the stairs to my basement (with dad's help). Christmas ideas...i want a pink tool belt and a cordless drill. Thanks.

AND...BBQ to celebrate the fact that I'm 32 and could finally afford a house is on Saturday, July 7. All are welcome. The typical hamburgers, brats, beer and good people. Wonder if I should get Mark to perform. He would rap for my family. A little hip hop never hurt anyone.

Off I go to put together my broken furniture. I'm too antsy. Or I'm too motivated right now. You decide. Enjoy the extra day this weekend.

Peace & Love,
Theresa

I got a fever. And the only prescription is, more cowbell.

You are now talking to an official home owner. I can't believe it!!! What a fast roller coaster it has been the past few days. One day I can't sleep and the next I feel like throwing up.

Well, the house passed inspection with flying colors, so I'm in ecstatic mode. It's a cute 1.5 story cape cod in Green Bay. I'm excited to be only 10 min from work. Mom's giving me one of the mopeds so I can save on gas money. I'm also going to be buying either an old fashioned reel mower or an electric one. And I want to get rain barrels. I'm going to be as environmental as possible, without breaking the bank. I bought a book called "Organic Housekeeping." Pretty much vinegar cleans everything. I don't want chemicals in my house if possible.

Ok, more about the house. The master bedroom is upstairs and has the angles of the roof in it. It has a small walk in closet and a window in the roof, not a skylight, but a window I can open. The main floor has a bathroom, 2 bedrooms, a living room (with a window seat), a kitchen and a breakfast nook. Did I mention the 2.5 car garage (I've been told it's a guy magnet). There really isn't much I need to fix when I move in, just a few putsy things.

And I want to clean from top to bottom...and cleanse the space as well. I want only peace, love and joy in my home. Where everyone is welcome at any time. Where people feel safe and comfortable. That's what my house is going to be. So, if you want, ask and I can send you the link with pics. Otherwise, I'll see you at my house warming party, or anytime your heart desires.

Peace,
Theresa

My stomach is turning so badly right now and my head is spinning. Why you may ask? I started house shopping this weekend. And I think I found MY house. My brother and I went to Green Bay to just drive around and get an idea of what I wanted and which neighborhoods are good. We visited at least a dozen places. Pete was taking notes on the outside and such.

Then today, I called my realtor (love him to death). I said I wanted to see 3 houses. We went to the first one which was on a semi-busy street. It was cute, but definitely needed some work on the inside (flooring, etc). The second one was perfect...I'll explain more later. The third one needed a ton of work. I don't mind getting my hands dirty and remodeling, etc. But it needed way too much work. I'm not ready for that.

OK, house #2. PERFECT. It's a cute little 1.5 story cape cod. The master bedroom is upstairs with a skylight. Kind of a half walk in closet. Breakfast nook. Window seat in the living room. 2 bedrooms on 1st floor. And the basement is nice. The kitchen is small, but I don't need a big kitchen.

http://eratitletown.cybersunshine.com/10702433

So...I'm going to call a mortgage guy tomorrow and see what he can do for me. Then I might make a bid by the end of the week. I'm so nervous and scared, yet super excited. I'm nervous about money, but mom and dad said they would help me get settled in that aspect.

Send tons of good energy my way. I need it!!!

Namaste,
Theresa

Who finds a faithful friend finds a treasure.

- Ben Sira 6:14

Looks like Saturn's in retrograde until April...

Saturn turning retrograde puts a challenging spin on achieving success, but the planet also rules issues of leadership, making this the ideal time to establish your own boundaries, strive for self-improvement and unleash your creativity on the world. Furthermore, when your goals have been met, you'll be that much more satisfied at having cleared this astrological stumbling block! On the way, you'll also have learned a lot about yourself and clarified your perspective.

Here are some quotes I've been saving for a while...I love them and want to preserve them...

Religions are different roads converging on the same point. What does it matter that we take different roads so long as we reach the same goal? I believe that all religions of the world are true more or less. I say "more or less" because I believe that everything the human hand touches, by reason of the very fact that human beings are imperfect, becomes imperfect.

-Mahatma Gandhi


The world is new to us every morning--this is the Holy One's gift and every person should believe they are reborn each day.

- Baal Shem Tov


These three sounds when they are separated
Cannot lead one beyond mortality;
But when the whole mantra, A, U, and M,
Indivisible, interdependent,
Goes on reverberating in the mind,
One is freed from fear, awake or asleep.

-Prashna Upanishad


Three things restore a person's good spirits: beautiful sounds, sights, and smells.

- Babylonian Talmud, Berakhot 57b

"You tend to be unconventional by nature, THERESA, but today you could outdo even yourself. A spiritual experience could be at the heart of what's happening. You're changing, in a way obvious to everyone around you. If they're confused, don't worry about it. The problem is more that you'll be confused. Think of yourself as a caterpillar becoming a butterfly! The transition may be uncomfortable, but in the end the butterfly is far lovelier than the caterpillar!"

Wow, that couldn't have come at a more unique time. My emotional life has been a roller coaster lately and it's driving me insane. I have such extreme highs and lows, not sure how to handle it. I know people are talking bad about me at work, and that devastates me as well. I'm a good person, don't make up stuff. If you have a problem with me, come to me. Don't go behind my back. I really want to win the lottery so I can just surround myself with good people. Good, honest, trustworthy, lovely people.

So I had a very interesting talk with my hairdresser tonight. I just love her to death. I was talking to her about my meeting with an intuitive. I explained what she told me and how dead on it was...and things I needed to change and work on. Then she told me her stories as well. I started to cry. I felt so at ease talking to her about it. I haven't been able to really tell anyone without getting that "you're crazy" look. Thanks Kris, you're the best.

So without getting into details, my life is not stable right now. *LOL* It's good, but chaotic. Although the other night (when I didn't get home until 6am) was the best. I'm not telling anyone what happened, so everyone thinks I got some tail, when that is so far from the truth. I spent a wonderful evening talking and just cuddling with a wonderful person. I haven't felt that good about myself in years...if ever. I fell asleep here and there, apparently I snore. Don't tell anyone. For those few hours...life was pure and perfect, I felt loved. Thank you.